Finally,Bianca Ojukwu opens up on her late husband, claims by Femi Fani Kayode and much more (A must read)

It has been over a year now, since your dear husband-Dim Emeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu passed on. Knowing the level of love and passion that existed between you two, and the moving tribute you wrote, how has life been without him?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:
The exit of a man of his caliber means that things would never be the same because of the huge vacuum that is created by such an exit. As I said in my tribute, God gave me a year to prepare, even though I had a lot of faith that he will pull through, it was an emotional roller coaster, which eventually culminated in his demise. It was almost another full year of condolence and commiseration, and when that was over, you now had to ease yourself into a new life, and I consider myself particularly lucky, because it was a transition into a new life, new opportunities, new experiences because after the mandatory period of mourning, I now took up the appointment as the Ambassador of Nigeria to the Kingdom of Spain, which has been particularly rewarding. Spain is beautiful country, very rich in culture and traditions and where the people have a very strong sense of identity. It is a very welcoming society, and so my transition to Spain made things much easier, it made it easier for me to come to terms with his demise.

Sometimes, the emotional trauma that comes with losing a loved one that your life has been so intertwined with- some- one that was irreplaceable can be diffi- cult to bear. Now having to assume a lot of responsibility- and it is a very packed role, because I am not just Nigerian Ambassador to the Kingdom of Spain, I am also Nigeria’s Permanent Representative to the World Tourism Organization, which involves a lot of traveling. So joggling the responsibilities of these two roles, have made it a lot easier to cope.

I consider myself lucky to have had him, he loved me tremendously. As I said in my tribute, he was not just a husband, he was a friend, a mentor and I was very protective of him. Whereas people would think that the role ought to be reversed, but I was very protective of him. I was worried more about certain situations that I felt might endanger his life. We had such a strong bond and I was involved in every aspect of his life, it was like two people living one life. I remember when doctors were asking me to leave the room when things got quite bleak and I told them I can’t leave, they thought I was getting too emotional. I told them if I didn’t leave him during the best of times, I can’t leave him now. I told them that he was not going anywhere as long as I was holding his hands. The most traumatic point was when he could no longer hear me. Even when he was struggling to stay alive, whenever he heard my voice he would look up and smile, but when he could no longer hear me, I knew it was over, and that was very traumatic. I didn’t quite expect that the exit would be so swift. When they wanted to take him away, I refused and asked them to give me some time alone with him. I had some hours to reflect on our lives and it has been difficult to imagine that he is gone. Even to the Igbo nation itself, they are finding it difficult to believe that he is gone. While he was on exile, they knew he would be back at some point, but un- fortunately, this is a final exile, and it is hard to endure.

It has not been easy, because my role was almost like an appendage. It had been very challenging but I would say that hav- ing known him so well, being able to de- code, identify and to predict what his re- actions would be to any circumstance has made it a little easier for me, because a lot of the organizations and communities that he was so deeply involved with feel they can count on me and expect me to play important roles – organization like the Biafra War Veterans, among others ,the Ofalas, the Igwes, the new yam fes- tivals, I always endeavor to attend, and of course some of the institutions and research centers that he was linked with, especially those abroad, because there are so many Igbo groups abroad, I keep telling them that I am the Nigerian Am- bassador to the Kingdom of Spain, and thus cannot be attending events every week, but they will tell me, but you are the wife of our farther, I mean it has been very helpful the overwhelming show of support and belief in what he stood for.

It has been quite challenging but I would say that he was always keeping his eye on the bigger picture. He was very con- cerned about the party. He always be- lieved that the greatest interest of the majority was paramount. When I saw him operate, I realized that he was cast in the mold of the revolutionaries- people like Che Guevara, Fidel Castro; he was very Spartan in his way of life. He would always say to me; money is not some- thing that you keep as a form of luxury but something you spend when you needed it. He was not materialistic, money will come and go, but one’s ideo- logical beliefs and core values remain sac- rosanct. He was very much concerned about the enthronement of the ideology in the party. I thank God that one has been able to keep the legacy alive.

Given that you are still very young, beau- tiful and as the famed American poet- Robert Frost said, you still have a long road to travel, do you plan to remarry?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:

People marry I think not just because they need to come together, live together, raise family together, it is a rite of pas- sage and I think I have fulfilled my part. Why I said that, is, I have gone through marriage, lived with what I consider a wonderful , man who gave me 23 years of happiness, of fulfillment, I literally felt I was the luckiest woman to have had a man who gave me utter dedication and above all wonderful children. So my pledge to him is that I will devote my life to taking care of our children, raise them properly, teach them those ideals that he cherished and held very dear and try to carry on his legacy, so I don’t have any compelling need to remarry and in any case my time is very limited, so I am trying to channel it properly towards raising my children.

How do you handle the advances from men, who may nurse some romantic thoughts about you?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:

Nigerian men are not aggressive, they may be aggressive in business, in their career pursuits, but in that particular area of aggressively pursuing a romantic interest, I have been very impressed by the level of decency and decorum they project. I mean, it might be just my own experience. They have treated me with a lot of respect, deference-they have been protective in a way as if to say this is a treasure that we must protect. I get on flights, and I see people stand up, take my luggage to my car, they have been amazing. I haven’t encountered that sort of pursuit and I have been very touched and humbled by the way they have treated me. My husband’s friends call me regularly to see how I am doing- I mean a lot of widows complain that that they have issues with people who are propositioning them, but in my own case, I must say that I have been lucky to have wonderful support system based on respect and a sense of protection. If that is a function of the respect they had for my husband, I don’t know- when I travel abroad, I also meet Nigerian men who are respectful. I also believe that it also depends on the woman’s attitude-sometimes we lay blame at the doorstep of the men, but the fact is that if you are engaged in your work, if you are a woman who has a sense of purpose, regardless of the fact that you operate in a terrain that is dominated by me, once you can hold your own, it will be difficult to fall into that quagmire where you feel you are being propositioned or your gender is playing derogatory role. Once you are not making excuses for bad performance, or once you are not looking for a man to cover for you, for your inadequacies, once you are able to let your work speak for you, it’s a lot easier to survive and live a life of dignity, and once you don’t present yourself as a weak and defenseless woman – one to be pitied and really cuddled by a man just by a virtue of being of a weaker sex – then it’s much easier to live a life that is not being truncated by those pressures.

Since you husband passed on, there has been lots of stories about your in-laws concerning the family estate, some even went to the extent of saying you were not legally married to Ojukwu. How have you been able to cope with all these sorts of issues?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:

I came into a deeply divided family- a lot of my husband’s relatives, I never saw physically before he died. Ojukwu Transport Company issues have been in court, they still have not resolved the issues concerning their father’s wealth, and this was an issue that started in 1966. So they have been in and out of court since then. And I came into their family knowing that literally every month, one brother had one case or the other, so those issues are not strange- they are still to be deter- mined- the issues of Sir Louis Ojukwu’s estate. What we are seeing now is a form of transferred aggression- bitterness, resentment vitriol towards a brother that they are exhibiting, which of course, in his lifetime, they were not able to succeed. What they had expected was a docile widow who would quietly retreat into the shadow and let them have their way. I am very comfortable if not for any- thing, for being the daughter of Chief C.C.Onoh, and my father took care of me, so the issue is not just about their family. But my husband was also a very serious person, so he anticipated all what is happening now by making sure that the most of my inheritance is bequeathed to me by the Deed of Gift, so prior to his death, most of those gifts had already been registered under my name prior to his death-many years before his death. So I am so grateful that he was able to legally take care of that, because quite honestly, I didn’t expect this level of vitriol. He ensured also that any interest outside of the country was also taken care of – because he had a Will outside of the country as well, and I didn’t have a problem with the probate on such a Will. But I will say that at the end of the day, it’s not a question of acquisition, all I am saying is that I am the only wife that he wedded, first and foremost, at the Kaduna registry as witnessed by his friend, the late Clement Akpamgbo, and we had a small reception after the event at Apo Quarters, in Abuja. After the registry marriage, we went through the Catholic marriage at Our Lady Queen of Nigeria Catholic Church in Abuja, and it was officiated by the then Arch Bishop Onaiyekan- then the Archbishop of Abuja Dioceses. We finally went through the full traditional marriage in my father’s compound that literally had all the traditional titled chiefs, paramount rulers of the community were in attendance, along- side the five governors of the Eastern states at the time were present, various dignitaries, ambassadors were in attendance. The Abuja wedding for instance was almost a state wedding. So the evidence is there for all to see, and when you are faced with that situation, and you have been properly married, and you have offsprings from that union, but purely because they want to cheat your offspring of their inheritance, in addition to other things, by virtue of their being the youngest, any mother would do all she can, to protect them. My husband was quite specific in wanting to protect their interest that was why he ensured that I would be in the board. When the Will was read, and they realized that my husband had protected my interest and those of his children, they came up with all kinds of subterfuge, for instance, they said they don’t allow women to be on the board, or that for one to be on the board, you had to be an Ojukwu. Any right thinking person, will see that they had no provision for the children, so I was left with no option than to pursue legal means in order to ensure that my children were not cheated out of what rightly belong to them. In doing so, I was aware that a lot of mud and ridiculous assertions would be thrown my way, and they have not disappointed. They have hurled all sorts of vitriol and outlandish claims about me- the most laughable has been what they claim that I was not legally married to my husband. I mean, this is a marriage that took place in 1994 and not 1884, so the evidence, the videos, media reports are there for everyone to see. I mean these people who are making these outlandish assertions were also present, not just at the wedding, but at the wine carriage, wearing uniforms, so that was just laughable. People have called me, to say they have descended to ridiculous level. But the good thing about all this is that battles are not won or lost on the pages of newspaper, the courts will determine the real outcome. But as I said earlier, my interest in all this is to ensure that my children are not cheated out of what rightly belongs to them- I have no personal interest in all this, because no one can take from me, what rightly belongs to me, because my husband took time to ensure that my personal interest was well protected.

What manner of a lover was he?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:
He was extremely romantic, and for him, companionship was extremely important. He loved to go to the theatre, to the op- era, he loved classical music, and he al- ways insisted on us going together, a lot of our evenings were spent on our patio, having tea and brandy and playing scrabbles. Essentially, he was rooted in companionship, and he always wanted to do things in a romantically dramatic manner. For instance, he never replicated any gift for the years we spent together; he always gave me a different gift each time we celebrated our anniversary. He would choose the gift himself and if it meant traveling to procure it, he would do so; he could never bear to see me miserable. If I ever was upset about anything, he would tell me, come let me drive you around and I would protest by saying that he had been driven by drivers all his life and that he shouldn’t do it, he would tell me, he wants to do it, make all the mis- takes and have me tell him he was a bad driver, but that he just wanted us to be together, and for him to make me laugh, because he didn’t want me to wear a sad face. He would sometimes arrange a va- cation for us abroad, and he would pick ice cream on the street- just mundane things- he was an incredibly romantic person. He would come into my bedroom for instance if we were planning for an occasion and I would tell him to leave, that he was distracting me, and he would tell me “well, I can help you tie your headscarf, at least, I used to help my mother tie hers. And of course, you knew he couldn’t, and he would come and try and fail and we would laugh about it- I mean he was an extraordinarily roman- tic man. His greatest charm really was his ability to make you laugh, to bring hope in an otherwise abysmal situation, he told so many jokes, sang so many ridiculous boyhood songs, but he was so charitable, he was so plain in a way that was childlike, but when a situation that demanded action came up, he would as- sume a different persona, the transfor- mation was amazing- he was able to dominate his environment. One other thing I found very intriguing about him was that he was totally and absolutely fearless. He would be in a panic-inducing situation that would otherwise have frazzled others, but he would remain calm and steely. He was always very ra- tional. His presence was very reassuring. I could travel with dozens of police in a car, and I would still feel insecure, with- out him by my side. We had on two occasions encountered armed robbers, and when they recognized he was the one, they saluted him, and used their vehicles to escort him to the house- he was that loved and adored. He was an amazing man.

Can any man ever fill the role he played in your life?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:
No, he gave me the best 23 years of my life and I have always said that for any woman to have been blessed to be with him for let’s say two years, should con- sider herself lucky, and so for me to have been lucky to have had him for those years, I think I am truly blessed and I am not looking for any replacement

What’s your advice to other young women who may be in the situation you found yourself?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:
Situations are different, you may marry your contemporary and it lasts all of six months or less, so everything depends on how you handled your own situation. You were there when my affair with my late husband started, and I knew I had found love, and was not bothered what the society thought of us, and I am glad I did. Given the same scenario, I will marry do the same a hundred percent. Essentially once you get over the initial trauma, you develop a very thick skin, your skin be- comes like a turtle back, and I went through that induction process in my early twenties, everything else is a breeze.

Last year, Femi Fani-Kayode the former Aviation Minister came out with a bomb- shell that he had a long standing intimate relationship with you. It became a fodder for both the mainstream and social media. Apart from the statement that your attorney put out, you have not come out to openly speak about the issue. What really happened? Did you have an intimate relationship with Femi Fani- Kayode?

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:
When I came back from Spain and I realized what extent the issue had snow- balled, I had to contact my lawyer with a firm instruction that he should demand an immediate retraction from Mr. Femi Fani-Kayode. But let me say this: this was a figment of Mr. Fani Kayode’s imagination. If you said you had a relationship with someone, intimate and long standing as he claimed he had with me, the least you should have is a picture. An intimate and long standing relationship as he claimed he had with me, connotes that you should have some form of evidence, pictures taken at a public function- a birthday party…a relationship such as he purports he had with me, is not some- thing you hide, yet there is nothing to show he ever met me, not to talk of having a relationship of the manner he claims with me.. The guy obviously needs help and he appears to have serious challenges. He knew he was lying that’s why he approached a number of influential Nigerians to beg me, that he didn’t mean to say he had a relationship of such nature with me, I mean the guy really needs help.

But Femi has been strident and actually asserted that he has the evidence to back up his claims and would tender such, at the court of law.

Her Excellency, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu:

You know what-you don’t need to go to court to show such evidence, especially for someone who, obviously does not have the patience to wait to show the world he is right in his assertion. My challenge to him is simple: if you had such evidence, show it immediately. I don’t know this guy, and deep in his heart, he knows that he is lying. Quite a number of influential Nigerians have called to apologize on his behalf- he had gone to them and asked them to intervene on his be- half. Also another critical aspect of his lies is that within the time frame he claimed the relationship took place, I was in a boarding school in England, and by the time I left the boarding school and came to Cambridge, my sister had passed on in an air crash, in Enugu and I had to come back to Nigeria, so basically the time frame is wrong and he can’t even defend that time frame, so I wonder how he could create such a fiction, when he absolutely knows such did not happen. But in any case, if you had a relationship, intimate and longstanding as he claims I challenge him to bring the evidence- I mean I have pictures from my childhood days, I have pictures of people I knew back then, and where is his evidence? He needs help. Source

- A News of the World exclusive-